One year ago, I went through one of the most amazing, empowering, sacred, exciting experiences of my life. I gave birth to a beautiful, perfect little baby boy. It's crazy to think that a year has passed already. That sweet little angel is now crawling all over the place, getting ready to walk, and babbling in his cute baby language constantly. But just one year ago, he was making his entrance into this world.
Childbirth was something I decided to put a lot of time, research and preparation into. After watching various videos on BabyCenter, I became intrigued by how calm and peaceful the moms were who were using hypnosis for pain management. I began researching Hypnobirthing, which led me to something even better: Hypnobabies. (Seriously, check out the link!) The main difference between the two programs is that Hypnobabies is a little more involved. I felt it gave me more tools, helped more with pain management, and that I ended up having an empowered birthing experience because of it, free of fear.
I wasn't expecting Izzy to come when he did, a month early. When my water broke on a Monday night, I thought I had just lost control of my bladder. (Hey, it happens in pregnancy.) Luckily, I just happened to have an appointment with my midwife the next day. She discovered during our appointment that my water had broken. I still remember the shock I felt when she told me, "You're not leaving this hospital. Looks like you're having this baby today!" I called and text messaged Brian, who was in class at the time, as well as my amazing doula, Marinda. (To anyone thinking about hiring a doula for your birthing experience, do it! You'll be glad you did.)
As I sat in the labor and delivery with Brian and Marinda, I felt like we were having a party. We snacked on peanut butter & jelly sandwiches with water, and just chatted happily. (Yes, we snuck in food and water. I refused to fast. You wouldn't fast for a marathon. Why do it for childbirth?) My body didn't go into labor on its own, so by about 4 or so in the afternoon, they had to induce me with Pitocin. Even as they upped the dosage more and more until it reached maximum, I wasn't really feeling contractions. The machine said I was having them, but I just didn't sense them.
As we were hanging out, I began hearing a horrific noise from down the hall. Some poor woman was creating what were, by far, the worst screams I've ever heard from a human being. (This was definitely the worst part of the whole experience.) In order to drown her out and continue to focus on positivity, we turned on some music instead.
Lauryn Hill was my sound of choice, and listening to her album put me in such a good mood. I was having a great time, rapping along with every lyric, while the nursing staff continued to look at me like I was crazy. I remember one looking at the contraction monitor and saying, "You're rapping? With contractions as strong as this? Wow..." The monitor indicated they had gotten pretty strong, but I still wasn't feeling any discomfort whatsoever.
After a few more tracks, sadly, the hospital staff made me turn off Lauryn Hill. Apparently, I was rapping too fast, and it made my blood pressure go up. Yes, it was tragic. But since I wanted to keep my son as safe as possible, I followed their advice. We switched the sounds of the room to my Hypnobabies CDs, and that helped me to relax a bit more.
We received a couple of visits around this point. Brian's dad came by for a short time to assist Brian in giving me a priesthood blessing. My sister also came by, and stayed for most of the evening. It was nice having such a caring support system there with me.
I was progressing pretty slowly. At my 11am appointment that day I was dilated to a 3, and by 9pm, I was only at about a 4 & 1/2. I began to worry that I would need to have a C-section, since my midwife told me we needed to get the baby out within 24 hours of my water breaking. 1am was my supposed deadline. That time came and went, but luckily, my midwife decided to be patient and see how things progressed naturally for a few more hours. At about 2am or so, my sister left to go take care of our dogs for us.
By the time 3am came, things were starting to get more intense. I began relying on Brian and Marinda much more as I worked to stay relaxed, and as I focused on the Hypnobabies prompts that were playing through the CD player. As I began to feel some discomfort, I worried that it would turn into the horrific experience the woman down the hall seemed to be having. I asked for an epidural at that point, thinking that I might need one to handle everything. My midwife and doula knew how much I wanted a natural birthing experience though, so they told me, "Just give it 20 minutes. If in 20 minutes you're still sure you want an epidural, you can have one."
I was glad they told me that. And I was glad that I ended up not getting one. Unbeknownst to me, in the space of about an hour I had progressed from a 4 & 1/2 to a 10. A little after 4am, I announced that I had to go to the bathroom. Maneuvering around the room while attached to a machine became too much for me, especially with wires coming out of my hospital gown. I was in some kind of zone, and I guess lost all sense of modesty, so I just took off my hospital gown so it wouldn't bug me anymore and went to the bathroom.
Brian, Marinda, and the nurse accompanied me to the bathroom. As I was on the toilet, I announced that I needed to poop. At that point, the nurse and Marinda said, "No! Get off the toilet, NOW!" and they dragged me to the table where Lindsay, my midwife, would check me to see how far I had dilated. I was at a 10! She told me, "Okay, you can push now!"
As I pushed, I felt such a sense of relief. Honestly, I didn't feel any pain during pushing. It pretty much just felt like a big poop. I became so excited as Lindsay announced she could see Isaiah's head! I was so tired at this point, that my plans of pushing on my hands and knees went out the window, and I just laid on my side with Brian holding my leg up for me.
After only maybe 5-10 minutes tops of pushing, at 4:20am, our beautiful little boy was born! I held him skin to skin against my chest as he took his first breaths, and as we waited for his umbilical cord to stop pulsating. Brian then held him and bonded while I pushed the placenta out. The nurses weighed and measured him: 6 lbs, 1 oz, 17 inches long.
They said he had inhaled some amniotic fluid, and would need to go to the NICU. Before they took him away, they let me hold him once again. I remember just gazing in awe at his perfect little face, memorizing every tiny detail: his earlobes, the cute little knob on his nose, the creases in his forehead, those gorgeous eyes, that adorable little dimple on his chin. I had Brian follow our sweet little boy to the NICU, where he was able to see where they would be treating him. When my sister arrived soon after, Brian and I were able to enjoy some cherished alone time with our new son, as a new little family.
Having a child in the NICU was a difficult experience, but luckily, Izzy made it out. Our first few days at home together were nothing short of sacred. And each additional day that we've gotten to spend with this sweet boy has been such a blessing. We love him so, so, so much!
Overall, I would describe Isaiah's labor and delivery experience as an amazing, empowering, sacred experience. While I worried for a short time during labor that I wouldn't be able to do it without an epidural, it was so exciting to me to discover that, in fact, I could. It made me feel strong. I was glad I was able to be completely present and completely experience everything. And I am so grateful for the Hypnobabies program! It actually has me excited to give birth again. :)
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